My Past, My Future.. My Everything.

Emerge!

2006-04-03T02:44:00.000+08:00

Alright guys! I'm back.. sorry for the real late delay in updates.. just that lately i'm v v v v busy.. been doing follow ups.. conference calls and databases everynight.. yea emerge is coming up.. and i feel the heat from bro joseph alrdy. Had a hunch this year will be the best year ahead.. with great guys helping me out to prepare for this year POS. In a few days time.. arthur's gona leave for NS.. and i'll be left alone to deal with the stuff.. so really had been rushing and trying to cope with all thats left for mi.. and lucky there's still ray and the guys lending me a hand. So been having conference calls like from 8pm till 4am those sort of stuff.. and really really tured out myself those past weeks. Today jus went to settle up my databases and sort out the members for this year's emerge.. and took up 5hours of my sunday evening. But as i begin to serve actively in this ministry, i really feel that all that i'm undergoing are never coincidences.. but its my training ground. Well.. i'm gona set my target.. but hope that by the end of next year i'll be reaching my breakthrough.. or at least closer to it. Its really by faith, but i'm glad i'm still undergoing lotsa changing and moulding from my ZS and leaders.. and of course all the helpers.. guys out there.. really wanna seize this time to thank u guys.. shiqi, ray, yieping, arthur.. lucas.. jeremiah, what a blessing you guys have been. Really sorry for my over demands at times.. and the times and effort u guys have sacrificed.. which is at times really beyond our capacity.. and ur help in spite of all ur tigh schedule.. really appreciate it! And i really hope that we'r able to grow as a school.. that even whn emerge comes to an end.. guess what, we will be the head and not the tail, above and not beneath in sch revivals. Felt really encouraged from the sms-es i received from sis charmaine.. and the trust my leaders have in me, that really, lets move up our excellence to yet another level this time round.
Been having trainings and trainings daily.. but i'm so encouraged by the capacity and commitment of the members.. and it made me see a side of the SP people, and really, i really sense that this is not only a spark, but a strong beginning of unity and bonding in everyone, and i'm glad i'm part of this. Looking forward to an extraordinary emerge ahead, to me, and we've alrdy won half of the race. =)

2006-03-02T23:03:00.000+08:00

The first day after my exams. Haha.. Met up with yieping, arthur, richard, sinman, and candice for lunch tday.. more of dinner.. ate at NYDC at around 3 plus. When i met up with them.. realised arthur had bought yp the crumpler bag. She's sooooo lucky. A adidas watch is not far off anyway. Haha.. poor him.. but i believe the more he blesses.. the more he wil receives the blessing. Jus recieved a call from him that he gt a $10/hr job. Haha.. faith jus works wonder. And i'm gona bless in FAITH next week.
Went home and on my way met up roy. Been a long time since i met him.. he's like one of my gd pals when we r in the sec sch. Haha. He nv changed a bit. lol. Chatted alot.. went for some games with him and we went to vista. Guess who we met. Engkiam, yengpeng and junxiang. Now it looks more like a gathering. lol.. impromtu that is. Chatted awhile with them.. and left. Thats wad i call a "anyhow" clique gathering. Its just coincidence. Alright.. gtg.. adios..

2006-02-28T16:13:00.000+08:00

My last paper's up tml.. yea i heard a loud shout. STATISTICS. Blew me away big time last semster. Seriously. Been muggin my stats since 11am. Guess what.. lotsa stuff happened already. And now's like only 4pm. Woke up today at 10am to go library.. onli to realise that the library is closed for only functions stuff.. onli to reopen at 2pm. Great. So i happily made my way to the Mcdonalds to have my breakfast.. as well as study lar.. Found the secluded corner and i start off my work.. Well surprisingly it went well... managed to corn off all the stuff. Then went off at 1pm.. take lunch.. and intended to return to the lib at 2. Went back to the lib at 1.50pm and its like waiting for the floodgates to open. Lotsa ppl waiting for the lib to open.. and i queued. Like i normally do. Its like even the security guy knows me. Great. So umglam. Then the library opened exact at 2pm.. and the typical case... all the kiasu ppl started rushing up to ''Book" their seats.. ignoring the poor security(i duno who's this) oh peh.. trying to stop them. They praciclaly would run him over if he was ahead of them. Trust mi. its tat bad. Horrific encounter next. When i finally gt to the 2nd level after the 'crowd' had cleared.. saw this couple arguing... a malay couple.. as i begin to walk towards them.. btw reason being coz they are standing beside the door.. not i'm KPO.. thn i saw this malay guy gave a punch to the girl's stomach. Man.. tt guy actualy hit his gf. The ppl around them was like.. eh.... but no one did anything but just stood there to enjoy the free "kill bill" show. Forgt it.. after that i jus walked off. Now what.. there's this fire alarm that went off 5minutes ago and its practically bursting my ear drums. Lost my attention momentum.. and here i'm bloggin'. Alright.. gtg back to my regression analysis.. and wadever thats after that. Sure thing, but i'm gona push myself to do well this time. Tml's gona be such an awaited day of my life. Life after exams.

2006-02-15T02:27:00.000+08:00

Suddenly felt like bloggin.. coz was looking through the friendster.. and i saw cy. Was hearing "wo nan guo" by 5566.. and memories seems to all come back to me as black and white films. Haha.. Suddenly rememeber dajin once told mi she looked like a bulldog. aha.. coz she's rather chubby. Couldnt help by cry out in laughter. Serious. Reminds me of lotsa things.. a chain reaction. I missed my sec sch life sooo soooo much. Feel that i should move on. These ppl has jus made an impact that deep. Spent awhile thinking through the times we had.. yangheng the funny guy cum my best pal..always thinking of different ways to slam dunk.. ks the bball siao-ist.. dajin- jungle man.. forgt why we call him that.. roy-the bald guy.. ahah.. angeline(always get suan by her..) feel like i've chatted with her online much more thn i ever did whn i was in sec 3 or 4... kelly(the foreva quiet but yet so talkative and opinionated fella) and yea.. she's quite a change.. from her mushroom hairstyle since sec one till now a lady-like girl.. andrew(la pi xiao xin).. jassica(my best girl-friend).. haifz.. asri.. man.. really really didnt know how much i miss those guys.. and i want to go back to play my badminton in that sch hall.. and i dun care if they are not the best of team.. cy.. i duno how i shld call it.. but seems to make up most of my life in sec sch. She's just graduated.. leaving. I remember once after school, yh joseph and i was being dumb thn.. rather childish.. in sec 2 i think.. as we are too short to slam dunk, we carried a bench to the bball ring and climbed onto the chair. and we jumped and dunk! I know its cheater.. but.. hey i dunked ok. Its not the graduation night that i cant forgt.. but sadly.. i miss every part of everything. Really. Thanks alot guys. Your made me for who i'm. and mrs loh, thx for everything you've sow into my life, in times of my downs.. you'r there that i can turn to. Mr tan.. sry i call you pokey face.. but i was sarcastic that time. But i still remember that before the night of my fnn and history O levels, i couldnt take it anymre. i called you, and you'r there to support me. You've been a support also for my studies.. and i own my distinction to you. I miss the bball courts, the games we had after classes, the setting up of courts at the badminton halls, the competitions and tournments we been through together. Its not a matter of winning of losing.. but the process. The guys i know. The laughter. Still remember the funny times we had, like yh spilting his pants while catching a rebound, a kick from me which hit the goalpost, in turn hitting koksiang's glasses. And his reaction was like "what the heck". i remember i rolled on the floor laughing.. till i had stomach ache. The adam khoo workshop, which changed my life completely. Remember the whole class cried.. i was back thn i know .. someone really beyond hope. But its you guys who changed me. Mr tan, thx. And i'm a totally different me now. Rest assured. Thanks guys, for closing such a wonderful chapter in my life so beautifully.

2006-02-14T17:20:00.005+08:00

Gone in a flash. 3 years.. and i think i lost that "xiao ding tang" cup. I still remember she hid it under my class desk. Tts in sec 2. Ouch. Well.. everyone has a past. But all these years we've been such good friends. Think of it, its so childish back thn.
Still in the pre-exams mood.. every minute i'm living in seems to constantly remind me of my pacc paper coming next week. Not that i don wanna rest.. but hey.. its just the stress. I'm just gona turn it into motivation.

2006-02-04T01:02:00.000+08:00

Today went for a mini gathering with my secondary 4 clique to play bball.. yang heng, kok siang, roy and jingwei.. Yang chiak and they all were also there.. met them after my classses ended.. reached the bball court at ard 6.30pm.. Remember when we were in secondary school.. one of the common stuff we have is that we all will play bball after school veyr often.. till evening time.. will like have lunch togther.. and chatted and hang around in the canteen and often ended up play bball. Now that we are in different schools.. we hardly have a chance to meet up.. and what more have a game, but we had the opportunity today. Will be very busy over the next few weeks.. having my year end exams.. gota slog it out from now.. will proberly have less time online and to blog..

2006-01-28T02:50:00.000+08:00

This past 2 weeks has really been a food fiesta for me.. ate so much. Last week went with sek and rishi to have the lunch buffet at sakae sushi... ate as if there's no tomorrow. Believe me.. feel that the waiter whn he cleared our dishes had dropped his jaw whn he realsied the number of plates and the quanity we ate. Ate around 40 over plates.. 4 miso soups, one bowl of udon, 3 cans of pepsi and bits of wasabi. Left the place feeling never so bloated in my entire life. U can trust on that. Can hardly walk. After that, today went to eat fish'n'Co with furly, pris and kk. This time round the fish and chips is able to put me out. KO. That was like the largest piece i ever seen, and having that chunk in my stomach wasnt a very gd feeling. But the taste was very good. Highly recommendable, esp if two person are to share tt duper big portion. Oh yea.. and the fries. "Icing on the cake." That was like a very big portion all in all. After that today in the evening went to eat reunion dinner with my cg.. ate.. (of coz alot).. 2 bowls of rice, seriously the one bowl of rice is like soooo small of portion, not even enuff to be my appetizer. haha.. jus joking. Gona be feasting the next few days.. tml's a big one coming up. My family reunion dinner.

Had some unwanted arguments jus now.. rather a bad scene. I really duno what to do, even art was rather angry. Talked to him in the afternoon and the whole of my night.. practically.. of coz.. i don't believe this is happening. But i'm not gona live in denial alright. And why is she not responding? It better be cleared up before i ever post my next entry, and i really felt very disturbed by it. I really feel so unappreciated.

2006-01-22T03:10:00.000+08:00

I just dont understand why people just go ahead the way they feel like although they know its the wrong path. Spent like say 2 hours talking to her.. and there she was agreeing and sounded remorseful.. but what do i get back. The old her. I'm not doing all this because i feel guilty that i owned her, but at least i still feel she aint tt bad, and hoping that she has grown mature. Don't try to spit me by doing all this. I had my limits and i had enough. She just seriously need some soul-searching, and at least mind those who cares for her, yet she's indulging herself with the wrong stuff. Go and look in the mirror and i am sure she wont even recognise herself, because she jus changed too much, for the worst. Jus wake up alright? I wont want to run the risk of judging her just because of the way she behaved.
Received a vision today, i'm nt sure if its one. But feel the impartation. So i may be right. Glad that i'm taking a big step towards my calling today. Felt so comforted by the confirmation. I'm still searching for the balance, be it my emotions side, my work and so on, i feel heavily burdened by my lack of balance, and i'm still not sharp enough, way off. Nvm, at least i've those guys behind me, never fail to put a smile on my face. =) The power of confession was what i've learnt today. But instead of just the sermon, i remeber art today me once to think outa the box, feel that revelations begin to flow in my mind. But bottom line is.. i can determine the world i live in.. through the words i confessed, i call that the x-factor.

2006-01-20T01:12:00.000+08:00

I didnt know that i didnt know so much. Haha.. nvm.. jus a tounge teaser. Today went out with ruoyi for dinner.. actually not planned out to be.. but just that we both had things to pickup and met to have dinner also. Went to buy the stuff thn head down to suntec to have dinner.. chatted alot.. catch up on the past stuff and the fun we had in our previous cellgroups. Then actually wanted to do some shopping.. but went for desert instead. haha.. but in the midst of the chat, couldnt help but made me realise something she brought up.. unknowingly. Surprisingly, it hit me as much as felt like i'm being hit by a vehicle. Suddenly i just felt so provoked in the spirit. After all, its not sth i even know, although i shld know myself more compared to anyone. I don believe in coincidences. Anyway.. she looks fresher after her graduation from SOT. ahah.. someday, i'll be my turn to receive my SOT cert, and i see that in my future, in in 2010, after my army.. and i guess tts a big step i will take towards my calling.

2006-01-17T00:13:00.000+08:00

Today was the last of it. Ended my run of tests and tests and tests.. Trust mi on this. Sadly, didnt end it well. Had a disasterous paper today. Don't bother asking. At a loss of mind when i underwent the test. Simply couldnt remember at all the knowledge i studied.
Anyway... time to get back to my other stuff that i wanted to do. Gota brush up my bible reading.. and wanna shift back my focus to my cg and sch of business members. Feel abit neglecting them for awhile all these busy times..
Time pass real fast.. 4 weeks more.. and i'm gona say "hi" to my exams. 2 weeks to clear up and settle things.. 2 weeks to really brush up my year's work. and by teh time i realise, i'm gona say my greetings to the new freshmen having their year ones in SP.
Adios.

2006-01-10T23:17:00.000+08:00

Been a week since i blogged. Anyway i suppose i'm not the only one. Everyday i'm using the com.. but still 24hours really seems insufficent. Yesertday went to arthur's birthday party.. he's gona enter NS soon.. kinda fast.. but these few months under him seems incomparable to others. Anyway.. i'll still believe that his blessings will be still on us.. even if he's wearing green. ahha.. come on.. NS aint that bad. Especially when i'm not in there. Bought art an EdHardy shirt.. this time round hope we bought the right gift, guess we did. It seems rather fast in time measure.. remember last year during POS he intiated our conversion.. till now.. hmm. Yea.. everything was such a blessing.
Yesterday was econs paper.. man.. couldnt believe its so simple. i believe rishi ended the 1 hour paper in jus ard 30 minutes.. did he dozed off after that? haha.. I'm stil broading over the banking/Ft option i'm going after in year 2. Somehow or rather.. i feel that i should go after Ft.. which i dun realli prefer over banking option.. but yet.. if i think in long run.. i hope it will benefit my future lifestyle. Gotta have faith to believe what i know lies ahead of me.
Today went to do FOM project in the morning.. could hardly wake up.. but managed to.. alice practically forgt abt it.. till kc called her. After that.. met thiam keong for dinner at plaza sing. Glad we have tt talk. Its just so.. i duno how to describe.. but at least i've made a difference today. Something i'm never step out to do in the past.

Newyear!

2006-01-02T23:59:00.000+08:00

Really quite down nowadays. Feel that i'm stagnant in everything i'm doing. No breakthroughs, no acheivements, i think i'm losing it. I'm feeling the even minimal confidence. I know i should stay positive.. but how to whn thing.. and i mean ALL THINGS dont work out for me. Its like the devil is easily attacking me and i lost my armour bearer. I jus heard one of my ex cellgrp member.. she backslided. I know i'm not in the same boat as her.. but i really feel so hard-pressed at times. Getting work on the extremes.. too much.. and too little for the stuff in which i realy wanna serve in. No doubt this year started great for me.. i receive lots of blessings. PTL! But also i lost my energy and grown weary. Pretty much some resolutions i made.. i couldnt fulfill.. and they are very important to me. So tts a big hit for me. But i'll have faith this year will be an extraordinary one, because this year i'm gona do my best and put my main focus on my ministry and of coz my studies. And i believe i'm gona prosper. Because He delights in the propersity of His servants. And i'm sure i'll keep my faith strong in this year ahead, and i'll finish the race well.. and i'll remeber lot's wife. I wont look back.

2005-12-27T03:23:00.000+08:00

From the bottom of my heart.. really wana thank God today. Know what. I nearly lost my hp today. NEARLY. SO CLOSE. Closer thn the air you and i breathe. I dropped my hp unknowingly in the 901 bus.. thn i jus alighted. Rushing to meet my cgm for the video thing.. so in the mdist of the rsuh.. i realised i dropped my hp in the bus after i alighted. Wah.. seriously.. i could have panicked. But a thought came to my mind.. thats to run after the bus. So i did.. like some mad guy.. run back to the interchange. And really THANK GOD i managed to recover the hp. I ran to the bus i was on.. luckily it was parked and not driven out.. thn the uncle of the bus give me back the hp. PHEW. U couldnt realise the heaps of relief i felt.
Anyway.. after that rushed all the way back to the park to meet my cg mates.. did the stuff.. and went off. On my way home say kelly. She jus llike floated in front of me.. scary. I guess she's shocked as well. Haha.. So tired.. just finished the call with yp.. ZzZ.. gota go. Tml's a busy day.

I'm Back!

2005-12-22T01:07:00.000+08:00

I'm like so duber uber busy for the past few days.. practically everyday going home late. Went hoem past midnight for two days on sunday and monday with yieping and jason.. thus we shared cab for two days. But lately i'm blessed with more money to have me cover up. Thank God. Several things happened.. events took place.. for example of tt BBQ i went yesterday. Success! But i'm not satisfied with myself. I need to have tt alarm clock inside of me.
Presents almost gave it all out.. recieved quite some for myself. Haha.. Left someone's i've yet to gave. Today jus received angeline's card. Wow handmade. I'm surprised that she has the paitence to do tt for me. Rather nice. And richard's photoframe with the pic of the year! Cool. Daniel's belt and wallet, yieping's choco.. lucas's choco cakes(from korea!).. and many more.. thnks guys..
Somehow or rather.. i feel so "chiam" at times. So stressed by the work in school.. my own committments.. and other stuff. But what comforts me are the people whom i turn to. They are jus awesome. Wouldnt be here typing this w/o their encouragement and laughter.. and "suan-ing" me.. perk me up. haha.. right.. and He whose joy is my strength.

2005-12-17T00:42:00.000+08:00

Today is the last day of school. Thats a nice way to put it. The other way is that i'm only having a term break. 2 weeks of hols for me to catch up my econs, pacc, stats and ITAB. Sure a fun way to study during hols.. esp now during the christmas festive season. Everywhere i go i hear santa coming to town..
Today after ITAB, went down to bugis to makan sakae sushi with rishi, sek, kj, furly and pris. Of coz.. yea the usual few of us.. Went down from sch with rishi and sek first.. before we met up with the rest at bugis.. actually wanted to eat the buffet.. but couldnt wait till 3pm.. so we ended up eating ala-carte.. mouth-watering plates of premium dishes was like one by one pass by me. I'm so willing top try out.. but gota give in to my limited budget. Next mth is the end of bf.. gona hav a gd meal after that! So after that went to walk ard here and theere.. furly intiated we took neoprints.. so there we go.. and off we went after we took. Sek and rishi fought for the prints. ahha.. After that rishi n i went off togther.. kinda tired. Slept thru in the train.. lucky the train's too loud to hear any snores(if there's any tt is).. ZZzzZz..
After that went to causeway point to do some last minute shopping for chirstmas.. or shld i used the term "last minute".. because i know of some particular someone haven. haha.. bought some stuff.. and cards for my leaders. Remember i came across this very very very nice glass cup.. the design is rather attractive.. but its looks a lil type for girls.. anyway i bought it.. and i've someone in mind to own it. haha.. Tiring day.. but a fruitful one.

2005-12-16T02:13:00.000+08:00

I feel so bad abt it.. and tts not worst. Bottom line is i dun even know what to do abt it. I once said to my leader not to let this area affects me. Was just hoping i'm not seeing a mirage. Its jus much a thought for me. Even exceeds my limit of "too good to be true". Unless. Unless God tell me that its possible. And it's gona play a crucial part in my future, forming a BIG part. And it will come to pass. If not, i'm realli confused.

2005-12-13T23:39:00.000+08:00

I'm so full.. today went tocelebrate my mum's birthday.. so my dad brought us out to a countryclub to have dinner. High class resturant! Its at grassroots club.. just next to NYP.. i remember last time i used to learn swiiming over there at that countryclub. haha.. That was like in the prehistoric times. haha.. ate alot.. practically finish one big crab myself. Chilli crab. My favourite. Anyway i was eating and when i was abt to finish, yieping had chosen the best of times to call me. So my hands was there so yucky.. and chilli-hot.. and there my hp was vibrating and ticklish in my right pocket. So i tahan abit.. and finally she hanged up. Haha.. Called her back 5 minutes later. Anyway.. thur's my FOM test.. tml gt bs.. which kinda sums up my program for this week. Lots of studying to do. And of coz.. how can i forgt.. weekend candlelight service! Either i'm having a strong digestive system or what.. i'm feeling rather hungry now.. esp after sharon told me she's eating cup noodles now.. yum yum..

2005-12-09T02:40:00.000+08:00

Today was like .. wow. Depending on how i look at things. Kinda bad and unfruitful. Kinda scolded by my cgl. Quite a heavy one. But i'm glad she did. Or else i wouldnt know all this mistakes i did. Sometimes i'm thinking that its i'm not making the effort to stand in the gap. But i duno when's the right time to do so.. and if should i do so in put it in another way. Its like a wake up call, that could change all thats ahead of me. I remeber what uerwen told mi yesterday while on the way back home. God wouldnt let me go another level of an area of my life in which a problem existed and i didnt clear and conquer it. I feel that my cgl and God really made it clear for me, practically pointed and magnified out my problems. I remember jus now as i was talking to art. He told me lotsa stuff.. and he said things are the way in which i look at. The way i look at things results in the way things turn out to be. Maybe all this while i'm having the wrong attitude to see things. Thats why i'm unfruitful and not contributing. I suddenly remembered God once told me this next two years of my life dpeneing on how i react to challangers and moulding will determine wad i'm be next time. But i'm pretty sure i'm wont b discouraged by this. Because right now i'm feeling better. Because i'm looking things on the positive side. And the only thing to do right now is to make things happen. And i gota change myself, and its only myself that can change my attitude. I'll give myself 2 months. And within this 2 months, i expect myself to change, correct all that grace told me today.

2005-12-04T23:56:00.000+08:00

Today was like a new start for me. Sadness linger in me.. but as well as great expectation and excitement. The year has really been a year that changed my life, that practically set the tone for me for the years ahead of me. Because i'm focus. Because i'm set on my vision. Because i'm found my calling. And i heard the confirmation many times. Even from my leader. From the moment i step out of chc today, i know what lies ahead of me is another level. I'm leaving the past, going towards the future i'm called to. Going from glory to glory. The next two years of me will be hard to past. But i know everytime at the brim of breakthrough will thus come trials. Jus now before the meeting, took pics with art, yieping and ray. Haha.. hope bro kevlyn will send me soon. Definately keeping them.. maybe sending thm to b developed. Because these pics marks the end of a chapter, and also a beginning to my walk towards my purpose. At singapore expo, it shall be years of breakthroughs for me! I'll grow grOW GROW in my spiritual walk! It may take some time to reach my purpose. And my purpose, i wanna be a cgl.

2005-12-01T23:29:00.000+08:00

"I asked for your photograph. So that i can give your pic to show santa wad i wan for christmas." Haha. Thanks.

2005-11-26T01:29:00.000+08:00

Finally done my ITAB project. Handed in today. I know another one on mircosoft frontpage project is coming on. Its jus plain endless. After the lab lesson, gt a 3 hrs break... so i met up with yieping, lucas and weichoon. Funny thing.. at foodcourt one. And funniest thing, i was carrying yp's guitar from one end of the school to the other end. Well.. the fellowship was good. haha.. chatted quite alot.. after that weichoon and lucas went off.. as yieping had to accompany me till 3pm because i have lessons at 3pm. wahahahaha.. At first we wanted to watch show in the lib.. but there are no available seats.. so went off and sat down to play checkers. Yea i know its weird. Then we went fc 4 took desert. Chatted abt some stuff.. of which i didnt even know. And yea.. arthur finally gt a job. Haha.. after tt i went for my lessons then she went off for bs. Just came back from playing soccer with jeff they all. So tired.
Just now, felt a prompting from the HS. It was so sudden. Hmm.. more like an answer. and for the first time i felt peace at heart. And i know why are things this way. Gota sleep soon.. tml having some CIP school program. Of all time.. it had to be tomorrow.

2005-11-24T12:39:00.000+08:00

I'm back. BACK. And speaking of back, i'm having back muscles aches. Duno why. Felt like an old man. But i'm not. I bind that. Anyway.. Today morning went to meet up with jeff to go his house cut hair. haha.. i feel like his ginny pig at times.. but i know i'm not. He's the next top and upcoming david gan! lol. After that went to school for marketing lecture.. another 2 hour.. or rather an half and 3/4. Then suppose to have fellowship today. But in the end kinda had my sabo cases.. left a few of us. Then i cancel it.. Come on guys! Breakthrough! This morning arthur called and told mi to take over the fellowship.. and i thought what happened. and he was still laughing happily. I thought what. Anyway.. i know yieping can overcome it. She's a conqueor. More than one. Yesterday i was in the library whn i saw a cute toddler. about a year old.. thn he was like running in front of me..melts my heart. Thn again, i saw a couple of kids around 3 years old fighting.. as if they were pro wrestlers. So.. i was like.. i duno how to describe. Kids nowadays.. haiz. Reealli work till the extremes.
Talked to an old fren jus now. Sorta. Less thn 2 sets of exchange of conversion. Kinda felt so bad. I know there's some misunderstandings perhaps. But i really cant remember what isit. And i know she's holding on to it. I still remember we used to chat on phones till daybreak during our Os level period. Whats the problem now? She seems so nice thn.. whats got into her mind? Its a change of 360 degrees.
Was sms-ing with angeline jus now thn talked abt kelly.. Haha.. saw her blog that she says a cute guy approached her to ask for her number today. Haha.. and the thing is that she say she's so innocent thn she rejected him. So unlike of kelly. Haha.. loss of appetite suddenly. LOL.
Gona have the competition next monday. I'm not sure abt it. But i still agreed to join. Its like donkey years i last played and pick up even the racquet. But i kinda feel good and confident this time round. I wanna see how far can i go.
Today furly and sek lost their project work. 'coz furly lost her thumbdrive. I know that saddens her alot. but i also duno wad i can do to help. Oh well.. hope everything's fine.
I'm so recharged today. I'm back. i know it. Because i can feel it.

Busy week.

2005-11-20T23:11:00.000+08:00

Its been donkey years since i last blogged. I'm really rather busy these few days. Work is jus piling up. To those who are saying that i'm not having entries.. here you go.
Erm.. i'll started off with my "encounter"from catching the Harry Potter movie few days ago. Actually everything was fine.. till whn we entered the theatre, we realised the tix we gt is the day b4.. haiz.. but realli shocked that furly would buy the tix with her own pocket money to repay us.. I duno what to say.. felt so guilty.. but i'm like too embarassed to do anything le. Oh well.. Then friday night went for OPM.. stayed till 5am.. thn whn going home saw puayyong so went home with her. Thn after that whn i reached home at 6 plus.. i heard on the radio, on class 95fm, the DJ was saying "Good morning and welcome to the morning show! Rise and Shine!" And the next thing i do was i off the radio. Pls.. not all people are waking up at 6am ok.. for me.. i gona get my beauty sleep.. Today brought home yieping's guitar home.. think she lazy to bring out thn i "offered" to bring it back. Haha.. my guitar was like .. nvm. If anyone sees this i wan a new guitar for christmas! And i want acoustic. NOT toy guitar. Duno why but really looking towards this year of festival season. The thing that spoil e feelinsg is that i have to study after christmas.. although i have 2 weeks of holiday during the christmas week. Awesome!
I need to be refreshed by the HS every minute and moment of my life! Kinda feel so down at times. But everytime i remember the promises that He has for my life, i just become so energetic. For i'll stand on his promises. till i've fulfilled them.

2005-11-15T02:38:00.000+08:00

I jus feel quite low today. I'm confused. I'm just rather worn out. Everything i did was like totally wrong. The prayer list i did was totally out. I need to have a change. And all this has to come after i realise my unexpected calling, or was it of myself. I duno.. but i know that if this calling is of the Lord and birth forth into my spirit, I will without fail succeed to fulfil my calling. Wanted to talk to my leader. But he couldnt make it. Hmm.. i know i can do all things.. through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS me. Without faith, it is impossible to please Him.

2005-11-12T02:54:00.000+08:00

A 3hr in between class breaks i would say is so unneccessary. Guess what? Thats what i had today. Bad way to end off the way. So after i ended my 2 hours (Suppose to be 3hrs but was let off early) ITAB lesson.. decided to go down to orchard to have lunch. So called the usual clique of people.. kk, sek and me. SO gota wait for furly to come down from home.. heard she gt locked in at home. haha.. actually kj was with us, but left while waiting for furly. Tooo bad, sek. Then after the late prom queen, furly, came.. we took a bus down to plaza singapura. Well.. didnt expect it.. but we ate crystal jade. Man tts my most expensive lunch i had lately during the BF period. Was sooooo hungry. Furly said i have the appetite of 2. lol. And her e-mee she ordered. Came last.. shld have seen the expression on her face. Haha.. Sek and furly ordered the honeydew sago, which i tasted was like soo blend.. either my taste buds had problems or... Anyway after we ate we met up with prissy and walked around b4 rushing down to lecture. Cant believe it. They nearly skipped their lessons. But i'm here. =) Haha.. Anyway we were ard 5 minutes late but the lecture was good.. till....... i forgt that i didnt silence my phone. The outcome i would say was.... i think i heard the whole theatre burst in laughter as if they had consumed some laughter gas or sth. Gosh its so ma-lu.. After econs was stats.. after which we ended this week of studies.
Just had a small chat with alexa. I felt that God is telling me to bring her back to church. Maybe to n213 or n286. Well.. see how things go..

2005-11-10T01:03:00.000+08:00

Today went for another gems class.. wah plain boring. After school, did my little revision on my stats SPSS.. gona need more revision to do better. Gosh.. i'm so worn out by stats. Day in day out. Good thing i'm not gona be tested on my past topics. Or else........
Anyway.. jus now chatted with gloria.. hmm.. i'm encouraged by the things she told me, but on the other hand.. concerned.. felt an absence deep down in me. Glad she's doing well in her revision for her Os.. but its jus that some things i will doubt if its right or wrong, or in other words, should i offer my opinion. Anyway, nvm abt it. Because i did. Why did i even did that.. i duno. I jus felt led. Surprisingly, i felt better after i poured out. Its never this way i really chatted with anyone from my cg unless its to my own members from SP. Hope everything really works out for the benefit of her.. and she'll straighten her thoughts. Funny thing that i has such great faith in her.. because i know when she return to cg, its the kairos moment for her.
Yay Pst. Ulf is coming on friday! I'm sooooooo excited whenever he comes. Felt his ministering is soo powerful, everytime he preaches is a time set for a change in my life for the better. The joy of the Lord is our strength!

2005-11-07T22:58:00.000+08:00

This period of time where the deep burden of school work and assignments got the better of me. Really headache. Statistics. Something i felt thats so "extra". And yea.. the lab based SPSS.. made to create troubles for my acadmic results. Dragged my GPA down big time. How i wish could get over and done with this module. But the bright side is i am gona work for my gd grades!! Got lots of catching up to do. Perhaps even last sem's work, because it all links up. Nowdays its like back to my old hectic schedule.. would you believe it.. practically everyday i would end around early evening.. exhausted.

2005-11-03T04:13:00.000+08:00

Seriously.. felt so burdened in my spirit. Today was the SP prayer meeting that changed my life. I've been to many prayer meetings many times.. But this time i know is extraordinary. This time, i felt its time to stretch my faith, enlarge my capacity. Works is given to the measure of faith. The things i talked with art and yp jus now really hit me. Well.. weird that we will talk abt tt. Haha.. and yieping, realli someone of great faith, great calling, but really need time to excel and fulfil her calling. But i know.. no matter how many detours she will take in her life, she will ultimately make her way to reach her destination. Because she herself is strong in will, strong in faith and support from her sis. Someone i can learn from. I felt i'm still far from my dream, but i know my first step is in action. I wanna excel in chorus board, because its where my passion is. I wanna rise up.. proberly in the future. All things are possible to those who believe! When the going gets tough, i think i will be tough to get going!

2005-10-31T01:45:00.000+08:00

Yawn.. went for sunday service 5 today.. a pretty short service and sermon. Time really pass fast during the service.. by the end of the service i didnt even know its about time. Haha.. Anyway after service.. meet up with arthur.. thn he taught me how to give bible study.. thn met up with alex to practise build up for wed prayer meeting. His guitar string snapped so he used yieping's.. haha.. funny the way he strum.. looks like the chord A is gona snap too.. haha.. worried. After that arthur and i waited for yieping to end her guitar lesson thn we headed down to jurong point to makan, with richard and his new friend.. After that we went macdonalds to fellowship.. thn went off.. jus chatted with them on conference.. meeting them tml in school to practise again.. alright.. sch reopens tml.. going to sleep now.. adios. Blog soon..

2005-10-28T00:53:00.000+08:00

Phew.. its like over a week since i last blogged. This past week its not that i'm lifeless or what.. but time's getting the hang of me. The holidays are like drifting away from me. Oh well.. honestly this month of holiday seems like passing fast.. and real fast. Hardly anytime to do my own stuff.. oh yea.. gota do some catching with with my stats. Definately dun wanna start off with how i end my stats last sem. I dare to dream i'll strive this time round. One who dares to dream dares to receive! This time round my timetable is rather ok.. i feel thats better thn last time round. As usual, my monday is always hectic. 9am to 5pm of lessons, with only 1 hour of lunch break. But hey.. my lessons earliest is still 9am.. and i even have lessons starting at 1pm on thursday! But still, i wont be even thinking of sleeping in.. because practically i cant afford to. And yea.. i know i'm gona hate this. Arhhhh fundamentals of marketing!!!!!! 3 hours of tutorial!!!!!!!!! 2 hours of lecture!!!!!!!! 1 hour is the longest i attended last sem. This time is a real breakthrough for me. I wonder how the last batch survived the 3 miserable hours for tutorial. Wondering how the teacher will feel teaching for 3 hours facing a group of glam looking students from my class next sem. No matter who the teacher is, he/she is gona be in for a great time. I'm excited.. be it if i'm homesick-psycho or not.. i wanna go back to school now.. But i don like the idea of waking up early to face the working office crowd and squeezing with them in mrt. Yea i know i'm contradicting myself. Time to time, gotta go. Adios.

2005-10-21T03:56:00.000+08:00

Today was rather boring.. only thing in particular is that i met up sharon in the afternoon for lunch. I'm beginning to learn to sow my time into my members.. to build a relationship with them. and i really pray that each and every of my member will be so commited to share this common vision. After that didnt really do much.. now into the wee hours of the night, my msn has been giving me problems.. just had conference call with arthur and yieping.. talked alot.. thn arthur just went off to bed. Now playing pool and checkers with yieping.. tml overnight prayer mtg! Cool!

Yp birthday.

2005-10-19T02:45:00.000+08:00

Choco, choco get away from me. I went home today with smells of black forest cake on the mrt today. Eew... luckily i'm not the only one. Today went out to celebrate yieping's birthday.. went out to meet the guys at Plaza Sing at 1 plus. Intially was watching "The Wig", but lucas didnt bring his IC or student pass as its a NC-16 show.. haha.. too bad. Anyway, so we ended up watching "Into The Blue". A good movie too.. who says movies on horror are the best? Haha.. Nevertheless, everything have both sides, simlarly to a coin. So after watching yieping, candice, weichoon, richard and i went to SSC to play pool.. thn met up with meiping before going down to marina bay to have our steamboat! Met up with the rest and finally started eating at around 8. Lol. No kiddin. Was realli hungry by thn. Then we had the cake brought out.. yum.. black forest cake. The birthday girl wanted it, so bo pian.. thn while eating, i know the sabotage plan will come into the picture.. Arthur was holdin on to his cake, after eating it, with crumbs left, he signal me and he attacked! Eeeww.. cream on yieping's face! After that i strike second. Haha.. smudge her face with my tissue of cream crumbs. Thn the war begins. Our traditional birthday celebration. Everytime we cleebrate a birthday, it always happens. So as time passes by, more people gt cream and chocolate all over them, contributions by yieping and arthur. Thn in the end, i had chocolate all over my shirt, yieping had cream all over her hair. Haha.. lucky ray bought an extra shirt that i could change in. After that we washed up and went off.. i dun think arthur know he has choco bits in his ears. Anyway.. wah really tired today.. legs are wobbly. Gota go.. blog soon.. Adios. All things are possible to those who believe.

Cool!

2005-10-18T03:00:00.000+08:00

Riiiiinnnnnnggggg! No i'm not starting a primary school compo here. Thats wad i miss hearing whn i over sleep today. lol. Jeez.. Nearly. Anyway met up with jeff for lunch today at novena. Boy he's a grear hairstylist. Gd prospects ahead of him.. maybe next time do investment with him.. share and open a hairstyling shop. Haha.. after that went to meet yieping and arthur. Arthur is still finding his job. Haha.. in purple formal wear.. hmm.. and the thing is that its not even ironed. Where's the first impression?!? Haha.. anyway.. after that, the 3 of us decide to go down to orchard. Wonder who drugged me to agree to it? Oh yea i said i wanted to buy shoes. So we went down far-east... walk here walk there.. and wont u believe it? We took neoprints. lol. And yieping fought with me over the controls. Imagine her putting wings of angels over my ears??!! Kiddin me ar? Thn in the end of our "hit here hit there", we finally had our pics printed. Pasted one on my mp3. Nice! Thn we went into a shop that sells things keychains and cute stuff. Was going over tt time thn my eyes directed me on a very cute winnie the pooh "tigger". Its like a hp chain like tt. I think that moment yieping gt "love at first sight" for the cute thing. Lol. Cant believe she decide to buy tt for 4 bucks without thinking. Given her high taste.. u noe how cute tt thing was. Its realli nice.. but i wouldnt look nice having a tigger hp chain for my hp. And she was like showing off to me all day to make me jealous... what can i say further..? After that went alot of other places shopping.. chatted and stuff.. thn she told me how her sis brought her to church and stuff. And arthur's busy finding his comics. Duno y i gt phobia against yieping's sis, not because she's a cgl.. Duno why.. nvm. Tml celebrating yieping's birthday. Haiz no sabo this year. I still remember how she "creamed" my face with my cake on my birthday. Dun wan waste the cake that was bought for her. I still wanna eat it. Wont taste good with her face dipped into the surface of the cake. Hmm... yum yum! Black forest! Arthur next year ur turn!

2005-10-15T02:53:00.000+08:00

Today woke up in the morning to accompany arthur go faith's coffee bean that side interview for job, though he looks more desperate for money.. lol.. nvm. So i jus accompany him and try out the interview. Well.. he's LATE AGAIN! And wad's worst is that he didnt bring out his hp since he's in a rush. Anyway, i think i called his hp till it run outa battery. SO after that we went down for the interview. $4.80 per hour. Gosh. He told me tts lesser thn sweeping the roadsides. Yea.. at least we are serving the country by keeping it clean thn rather be a kopi-boy. Oh wrong, high class kopi-boy. Coffee bean at wisma leh.. not bad though, wonderful ambience. After that we went down to campus. I went down to meet my member.. I felt that God put in me the feeling that i'll be able to help her, as well as those of my members. I'm so happy that they are willing to confide in me. There's a reason why i'm given this chance to shepard them. I know this will help me grow anyother level. Well.. i know i cant rely on man's wisdom alone to succeed and excel. But on the annointing of the HS. While on the mrt to campus, i chatted with arthur. I'm really thankful of him for the way he discipleship me.. train me and mould me. He's been a great help to my spiritual walk and growth these past few weeks. What he told me i will never forgt. Me yieping and ray. I'm not gona fail him of the faith and trust he had in me. I've still gt a long way, but with passion and a willing heart, everything is possible. Well.. he's going army soon.. botak. lol.. I'll take a leap of faith, because i couldnt see wads ahead of me, but i believe that the path God laid for me is GOOD! I hope what i learn from arthur and the campus ministry, i can bring them back to my cell group and serve actively using what've learnt. Anyway i wonder who arthur feel to be direct discipleship under sis shermaine. Must be cool. Hmm.. ouch now my whole body hurts. Didnt do warm up before playing badminton jus now.. was actually quite tired just now but feeling rather fresh now. But i stil gota go and catch my sleep. Adios..

2005-10-10T12:58:00.000+08:00

Had a great day! Today was the SP outreach day. Been planning this big event since a month ago. Well, woke up early today and went down to meet arthur they all. I was rather tired, nearly overslept in the mrt, could easily end up at marina bay. Anyway, teamed up with carolyn, jeremiah, clarence, joelle and a new friend weichoon. So we started the game, Shi ZI Lou Kou, aka Food hunt. Actually it went quite well. We actually made it first in the opening rounds, butb slacked after that and came in second last in the end. Dun ask my how. Dun ask me why. Anyway, its not abt the positioning and stuff, but i'm glad its a whole success! WooOhooo! Cool. After event ended, went for dinner and "People Say" cafe at marina to fellowship. Went home quite late. Duno why, but i felt that jus now did a big diservice to yp. Felt so guilty or some sort. Should have been more sensitive. Sorry sister.

Yeah! Overcomer!

2005-10-09T01:22:00.000+08:00

3 days since i blog.. well gota keep things going. Got back my mp3 yesterday. What a long wait. It had to travel to china just to get it repaired. Today woke up quite early at ard 8am.. thn went down to dover to meet arthur they all. I know i'm still half awake, i'm awake enough to know that i'm half awake. =S Anyway.. whn i gt there ard 9.30am, yieping was already there. So both of us waited for the next earliest, which was arthur, at 10am. Couldnt realise who foolish i was. So anyway finally all came, and we broke down into groups for the outreach. I went with yieping, gd start, found one guy.. hoping he's joining us for monday. But after that.. not much luck. So we had lunch at KFC before yieping and i went down to church. She went off to her cg thn i met up wif arthur for multiple svc. Weird, both of us from service 5.. attending service 2. But anyway, the service was great! Would you believe it? Pastor Carl was awesome. Simply awesome. Haha.. the topic was "To be more than a conqueror". Through out the service, arthur and i were laughing our jaws out. He's humorous. Anyway.. There are three main things we need to conquer, and they are myself, the world and the wicked one. Rev 2:26 says: "And he who overcomes, and keeps My works until the end, to him I will give power over the nations." To first be someone more than a conqueror, I must first be an overcomer. And i will overcome and indeed, i will keep my works till the end. Our lives is like a train, so powerful, so strong, within us is the potential given by God to succeed. But if our lives, which is the train, is not on the "railway tracks", we (the train) will never be able to move at maximum speed to release our full potential. Therefore, Christ, is the "railway tracks" our lives should depend on because as long as the train is on the railway track, the track will naturally lead the train to its destination. So in other words, our walk with God is like the journey of a train on the railway track. At the end of the journey, the railway track will always.. lead the train to its right destination. Wow, This is the example given by Pastor Carl that blew my mind. How true. Really looking forward to the service tml.

2005-10-06T01:26:00.000+08:00

Felt a sigh of relief. Its finally over. Now that it is set and done, i'm focus on my purpose... for now that is. I expect myself to be full of emotions.. but i'm not. This time is different. I noe. Becoz i'm in the light, not of the dark. The Word of God is the light unto my feet, a lamp unto my path. Otherwise.. i couldnt think of the consequences.
Jus now had a conference on the phone with arthur they all.. duno why.. but i felt a very strange feeling.. its like.. i duno. Like wad arthur say, we gota be those to step out and make a difference in the polytechnics. I feel that a united heart make things happen. So why not, lets take the chance to really make a difference in the campus. I know you guys have all thats needed to have a successful outcome. Because we are all burning with the fire of God. And through Him.. all things are possible. We will reach our target.. right guys? 70. So near yet so far. So much yet so little to those who dare to think that it will come to pass. We must have faith, and faith is the substance of things hope for. At times even though our members may show some attitude towards us.. but i feel that its like testing our ability to help them back to their paths. I would also make dreadful mistakes, but its how i recover from it. I gt accused many times, people say things that so awful.. but i know i can find my secret place with Him, the one who can comfort and heal all my hurts. Arthur shared a verse with me just now. Job 42:1-3. "Then Job answered the LORD and said: 2 'I know that You can do everything, And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You. 3 You asked, 'Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?' Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Yea. and NO purpose of mine can be witheld from me, for i have the potential and the seed thats in me to fulfil it. I could feel the stronger presence of Him in my life. Right now at this current moment. And i'm all out to help to fufil the great commision.
I know stronger is He who is living in me than he who is of the world. I will not let him have control over my emotions. The devil may be the prince of the earth, but my God is the creator of the universe. The author and finisher of faith, and everything is created through Him and for Him. Nothing should waver the incorruptible seed that is sow in us, and its our responsibility to make a good harvest of this seed that is sown within us.

2005-10-05T00:06:00.000+08:00

I felt as if i'm like on a boat. Drifting back and forth. I'm so inconstant. But i know how to set my priorities right. I know what should i be heading towards. My faith will not be shaken. Will NOT be. Today stayed at home for the whole day. Except that i went cycling for an hour in the late evening. So cooling. Gt the really "carefree" feeling. Deliberately took the long route home so that i could cycle that deserted yet peaceful route home. I just had a rush of adrenline and dashed straight all the way. Cool. Half of me wants to go back to sch, the other half of me wants to take a really gd rest within this period of holiday. I felt so accustomed to my school hours. Its like gt sth missing if i didnt enter the lecture halls or sth. Weird and ironically, i seldom have that thought.
On relation to some terms, i shouldnt let the past preoccupy me.. and cloud my judgements. I know its not fair, but somewhow or rather, i have the phobia to step out. Or should i say i shouldnt even entertain the thought.

2005-10-04T02:12:00.000+08:00

"A good sherpard is willing to give his life to look after his sheep." Heard that from bro alvin yesterday when i had dinner with him, and also carmen. Went with them to kbox for fellowship. Its been awhile last since i talk to bro alvin. He's such a good sherpard and leader over me during my POS days. Only after a few months after Emerge and POS, alot of things happened. Bro alvin going army soon. lol. Gona shaved his hair. haha.. and carmen!! Gona rise up as a cgl soon. She's going SOT next year. All the best. Remember during POS its always her that makes me had all the laughter, all her lame jokes. lol. I also felt its her calling for her to be a cgl. She will be a very good leader, one.. who will look after her sheeps well. And when we went to kbox after dinner, we celebrated rina's birthday. i think she was so touched and cried. haha. Too bad me alvin and carmen gota leave early. Sad. Missed out the cake.. haha..
Today was great. Went for class chalet at chevron. at jurong. A very nice place, even the chalet rooms look like condos. Had our BBQ but unfortunely started rainning. And the rest are playing water bombs in the rain. Hmm.. arent they already wet? Anywae.. pris, kj, zunkit and I went off.
"Do not be limited our thinking, for the one who provides is UNLIMITED in His blessings."

2005-10-02T01:34:00.000+08:00

Gosh. I gt lots to say, but i simply cant cramp everything here. Gota take days to finish. Really mixed feelings.

2005-09-30T23:23:00.000+08:00

A memorial prayer, we offer unto You. Remember us as we give to You, remember us as we sacrifice to You. I remember that day when we are being proclaimed the blessings of Haggi unto our lives, i know our lives will never be the same again. Never. I am standing on His promises, i'll have faith that one day my blessings will come to pass. There is a shared vison, a united vision, we are going to see it come to pass.

2005-09-30T00:25:00.000+08:00

I know things are beginning to drift apart from me. Truely, look on the positive side, things will be brighter. Although at times bad things still do happen to good people, but hey, good always triumph over evil at the end of the day.
Been thinking abt it.. the feeling jus returns. Now i know how cindy feels. Perhaps, or not, or else, ok.. wadever. Do je'taime? Blah.
Anyway.. things are heating up. Going for class outing soon! Although the class has jus been thru one semester, really treasure the class.. thx to people like sandy and pat, the class is always so "on". Hope it remains that way. =) Yea at times conflicts do occur, but let us compromise and let bygones be bygones alright. Everybody make mistakes, no matter what, i believe our class is still da best.

2005-09-29T00:23:00.000+08:00

Today after my bs.. when i went home on the mrt, i felt i heard the Lord said to me. "Phileo, don't be limited in your thinking. For I'm unlimited in all things i provide and do." All this while at times i'm really limited in my thinking. But i know through Him, all things are possible. And i should be unlimited in my thinking and ways because i CAN do ALL things through Him who lives in me. Its time to step out in faith. Realli step out. I believe all things He bless shall be good.
Later watching chelsea vs liverpool. Oh boy.. ok adios.

A great day.

2005-09-28T03:25:00.000+08:00

Manage to sleep in this morning.. woke up around late 11am. After that went out to meet sek they all. I called them thn they say cancel, lucky they repent and decide to meet. Lol. So i met up with sek and his friend at Plaza Singa. As usual, they are late. I think KC saw my pathetic look on my face while waiting. That explains everything. So by the time they came and winter was over, we went to makan at the foodcourt and went for pool. Played for awhile before leaving off to meet serene at cwp for movie. We met up earlier so we went to walk walk b4 we went into the theatre. The movie was really good. The animation, the graphics and the funny parts.. haa.. amused me. Its like 4 languages are being spoken in the movie itself. Cool. The songs are also nice.. very touching. The myth.
So after movie went off for dinner at KFC. I remember the first time we ate togther is also at KFC. By the time went off around 9 plus. We missed our 9pm shows. So tired nw...... my eye bags simply overweights my body weight. Lol. I know on theory its not possible.. but tts wad i'm feeling. Haha.. alright gtg.. i'm already seeing starrrrrrssss.......

Exams are over.

2005-09-27T02:59:00.000+08:00

Exams ARE over! And notice i used the present tense. Holidays coming my way man! Phew.. a heavy rock that's stoned off my chest. Econs was good. Except for the multiple choice. May prove a point that i didnt focus on the first few topics. Lol. Anyhow, shld do ok. Finally there's time for me to sleep in.. not having to wake up everyday to rush myself off to the library to mug my books. Rather it has been a routine for me since 2 weeks ago. But thank God it's over. For once i thought poly was some laissez-faire mediocre stuff. Its all backfiring my thoughts now. Imagine if i ever went jc. No.. i cant imagine that. =S But still, looking forward to next semester as well.
Well.. today is... Kk's birthday! Erm.. ok yesterday since its past 12midnight. Anyway, as usual we had our plans.. so after our exam.. we made our way to jurong centre ate kobeyashi, thn the major turn on..! Ice skate! Boy am i rusty on that. Pris and furly didnt wanna play.. so left 8 of us.. so we had the 4 person package. Unlimited hours. It sounds fun, yea although it is, but our legs don feel gd after hours of wearing that tight fitting boots. Its been a long time since i slog myself to play. Had a great time! Although all of us look like newbies except lovelle, we really enjoyed ourselves. We played truth or dare, boy we are ruthless. I still have a picture of a "dare", with rishi kissing sek's hand in my hp. Gross.. but hey no hard intentions. Look at it as jus a friendly gesture will ya? Apparently sek leong dont look the way i look. lol. Anyway they don seems to realise i was the onli one not to got sabo by them. =X We also took alot of photos.. waiting for pris and rishi to send me.... hopefully soooonnnn..
Now that i've alot of time on my hands, its time to start and shift my focus on my campus ministry. After the rest of them had finish their exams, we'll get things rollin'. I really wanna pray for the annointing to strengthen me. Let it be so successful. Let us make a difference. I'll do my best, and i know no matter when the harvest is, evetually there will be one. Because i know when we are come in aggreement, there is POWER. God works in mysterious ways. And i know as i serve, He will be my provider of my needs. Truely, i'm really trusting him for everything that we planned out for, that it will come to pass as not only a good effort, but a good harvest as well. Although at times.. proberly even now i'm facing trials, but let me be remind myself of His goodness and blessings He has showered upon me. But My God, is what the world can never take away from me.

Looking forward.

2005-09-25T02:03:00.000+08:00

Confess only the positive. Yea, when i confess the positive, i will live positively and things will naturally look good for me. My attitude determines my altitude. Yea of 'coz i'm not going to hide my burdens, but having a positive attitude will activate a higher level of faith tts in me for the HS to flow even stronger in my life. And amen to that.
My freedooooommmmmm...!! Tuesday shall be the day. I could practically hear my "holiday" knocking on my door. Hmm.. more than a month or so of holiday. Cool. But i'll be studying during christmas. Gota be kidding. Really miss the christmas feeling. Its coming..!! Hope that one day i'll be able to spend christmas.. somewhere.. where they is snow. A white christmas, in a house, with cookies and milk, people singing carols outside my door, sitting on a cosy sofa beside a campfire. And waiting for santa to pop by. lol. Anyway, i wanna go australia or New Zealand someday. To spend my life there, or at least to spend one christmas there.
JIngle bells, jingle bells jingle all the wayyyyyyyyyyyyy....

My delight

2005-09-24T02:15:00.000+08:00

"Unless Your law had been my delight, I would then have perished in my afflication." -Psalms 119:82
This verse is from the longest chapter in the bible. It may be just a verse.. but just now when i was doing my quiet time, after i read this particular verse, wow boy, did it hit me. I duno why but i jus keep on repeating and repeating the verse. Felt so attracted to the verse. So true. One verse but yet means so much. Truely, had not His law had been my delight, my life would be of no significance, and eventually i'll perish in my inquities and affilcation. We are of the new covenent, where the commandents are not written on stone tablets in the times of Moses, but engraved in our hearts.
No man is infallible. We are bound to have inquities. But surely as what God has said to paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." For then when i'm weak, then i'm strong, for His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Amen!

Tired. Exhausted.

2005-09-23T02:45:00.000+08:00

Wow.. i'm dead tired. Jus now went for soocer in the middle of the night. As usual, some of the AVA ppl are late. Haha.. had been since a long time that i played with them. Today had a shiok session! I think practically everyone left the court with cramps and wobbley legs. Poor roy, u wont wanna know what happen to him. Wondering if he's alright. lol. I think the ball jus fly and launched straight at him. Wham.. that gota hurt there. Anyway.. they jus went off for makan, while i gona catch my sleep. Tml's a day for muggin econs! Gona finish everything by tomorrow.. hope so. Tuesday's the last paper.. and there goes one semester. Time flies. Yea don remind me. Next semester i'll have to take marketing. I really dread it. I know i'm gona burnt my cells out in the lectures and tutorials. 3 hr of tutorial, imagine that, for those who like marketing, eats your hearts out.

Be still.

2005-09-22T14:05:00.000+08:00

Time is really passing slowly whenever u have lots of time on your hand. Its kinda freezing in the library now.. muggin my econs.. and the heavy rain outside is not helping at all. Felt so bored, anyway.. accounts was gd. Hoping that its good. Except for one question, i bet that teacher who's marking it is gona laugh her head off. I couldnt help it, i interpret the question wrongly. Anyway, bygones be bygones. Get a feeling econs will be much harder. But i'm glad i'm prepared. Just now was walking around cwp.. saw xn and cy. Haha.. wondering if yh had a sneeze. Lol. Been around 8 months since i last saw them.. looks like they become gd frens. Really gd frens. Time pass so fast.. yea i noe i'm contradicting myself.. but hey.. i still remember her eating laska in the canteen in front of me when she was in sec one. Come to think of it, it was rather silly. Jus particularly remember that scene.. as for the rest, felt that i've already deleted the memories. 4 years past, really seems like a flash.
I cant remember when's the last time i had a peaceful mind. So much i've been going through and thinking about. My studies.. my campus stuff, and the list goes on. But its better nowadays. Things have been so call.. going my way. Its when everyday i will lift all tts in my heart onto the altar, and He was take away all my burdens. I will be still. and know He is with me.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar,
I will soar with you above the storms.
Father you are king over the flood,
I will be still know you are God.

Stay Faithful

2005-09-22T01:35:00.000+08:00

I believe in faithfulness. That also as i continue to serve, i'm going to stay blessed in my coming in and going forth. Not because of who i'm, but because of what you've done. Not because of what i've done, but because of who you are.
Tml's my principles of acoounts exam. My favourite. Yea.. among the modules i'm taking now that is. Haha. Hmm.. all these days are pretty boring.. studying studying and still studying. Rather a constant frequency. Its like a deja-vu last year when i'm studying for my Os. Perhaps i'm taking my exams too seriously. But at times really had problems concentrating. Proberly because i had short attention span. Everyday really looking forward to go home and play worship songs. It jus refreshes me. Oh yea.. today went for BS at Ymca. COol.. lessons getting better and more exciting. Haha.. i'll live victoriously!
Yesterday and today were jassi's and angeline's birthday. My two gd frens. Wish them a blessed year ahead.. =D

COol!

2005-09-21T00:37:00.000+08:00

I felt so pressured. Certain things cant be rushed alright. No use rushing if the time isnt right. There's a season for everything. Some things couldnt be rushed just to meet certain needs. But i know i've the responsibility to fulfil my purpose. I MUST!
MOB exam was.. hmm.. alright. Pros and cons, here and there. Hmm.. the last article was rather way off for me. But think shld do okay. Above moderate. Well.. early to say so. Great prayer mtg jus now.. good worship and praise! Lucky i choose to go.. didnt regret a single bit. Learn something today and get myself refreshed. Ready for all challengers coming my way!
Its your beauty that made, this heart adore you. Hope of a life spent with you. Here i'm to worship.

Burnt

2005-09-20T01:09:00.000+08:00

CRASHED. Down and out. My bubble of hope is burst. No, WAS burst. Just that i refused to admit it. Instead, i'm comforting myself. I felt as if a hundred of elephants jus ran over me. That aint a good feeling. Proberly i am even feeling worst thn the physical pain should a hundred elephants really ran over me. Oh well, many things and times i've just gota get over and done with it. Its time to move on. The next stop of my life awaits me.

Sow and harvest

2005-09-19T01:51:00.000+08:00

Today basically went for service.. hmm.. after that went to library to clear and finish up my MOB.. practically made me nuts memorising all those facts. Glad its gona be over. After that went back to church to meet arthur they all. Saw arthur and mingjie in the cafe. In the end, waiting for sis connie to arrive, but she was just leaving suntec office. So in turn we waited for her at McCafe at JP. Naturally arthur went off with mingjie in his bike, leaving me and jeremiah they all off by bus. After the meeting was like rather late, perhaps only leaving arthur to present the aganda to bro joseph. Thn everything shld go as planned. The evangelistic event will be successful! Sis connie's a responsible cgl and leader, easy going and i feel really comfortable helping her. And arthur, way to go! The future SP cgl. After he come out of army first thn say. haha.. I remember jus now what sis connie say. As school helpers, we should serve with a joyful heart, and be the armour bearer. Cool. And richard seems to be very interested in the book she showed us. haha.. Duno why, i feel that we are really moving in a strong way, everyone of us are commited to it and set our focus. We have great leaders. Growth will be in the natural realm. So lets sow and await the harvest.

Discouraged

2005-09-18T01:50:00.000+08:00

Felt so discouraged. What should i do? How to make it happen? Everything seems to be falling apart. Together. Proberly saw the limit and the red light today. And jus when everything isnt worst enough.. people are leaving. I'm realli at my wits end. Even in my campus ministry, my POS friends, people are leaving.. but whichever is the reason being good or bad i really dun know. They once gave their word, saying they wont backslide, even telling me about their aspirations. But what is left today is not even an atom of the residue. "People come, people go" Well said, ry. But looking on the bright side, some may leave for good reasons, in which i hope is really the case. I dont wanna face empty promises. No matter what, will always be praying for you.

Praying on my bended knees.

2005-09-17T01:17:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. jus now talking to sinyee abt the end times. I cant help it but i gota admit its true. All that i know adds up. I refuse to be realistic.. but i know i'm only avoiding. Even ry thinks we are really approaching. I felt fear, a fear thats so.. on the other hand, i'm able to see the Lord. But the trials and tributations, thats why gota build on a strong foundation now. A foundation that is build on Christ Himself. Hmm.. shouldnt think so much. There is a season for everything.
Just know was playing my guitar.. played heart of worship.. felt very smooth.. during the free worship part.. sang in tounges.. wow.. gt goosebumps. Realli felt the presence of God. Now realli gt a sudden interest in guitar. Felt that its gd to realli play my own worship and pull down the presence myself during free time. Cool. I realli felt nowadays i'm realli growing. Growing spiritually. Suddenly reality jus stood on my door knocking and came into my life. The time is near.

I'll bring you more than a song,
For a song in itself,
Its not what you have required.
You search much deeper within,
To the ways things appear,
You'r looking into my heart.

Weaknesses

2005-09-16T00:37:00.000+08:00

Yea.. my impatience and my emotions. Gota do something abt it. Got to admit its so true. True to the extend i gt a shock when i heard it. But i'm glad i realise this. 'Coz all this while i'm having this thought about my impatience, and i believe i had it confirmed by God through sis grace. And my emotions. I believe once i clear and strengthen and improve myself on this two areas for now, i'll grow and go to the another level. I need time, and i have plenty. and again, i should stop being impaitent.

Study week.

2005-09-14T23:38:00.000+08:00

Suddenly i realise what i'm going thru is next compared to the stress level i was under during the days of my O levels.. its just minimal. Perhaps jus a molecue of wad i felt tt time. Right now i've only 3 exam modules and yet, i'm freaking out. Yea.. right now my management module is like twice of the effort needed of say.. social studies the other time, its already driving me nuts. I'm not bringing out the best in me yet. Sure, excluding project based modules, practically all are over. I need a motivator. I need to see my "pressure to excel" to birth forth outa me again.
Today went for my 1st VL class. Bro jimmy is the teacher. He's jus awesome. Awesome and still awesome. Really enjoyed the lesson. haha.. The jerusalum church. Hmm.. reminds me of the new heaven and earth. Anyway, oh yea speaking of lessons, today was my EC presentation. Boy was i shot by miss kujula, the question n answers.. i mean the way she phrase the ques was like.. hmm... was dumbfounded by it i would say. Hmm.. met my competition. She was rather ruthless in shooting me down. Oh yea.. and y me only? She seems rather easy on the rest. Just me and my particular group. Perhaps we are the last group and by the time it was my group to present, the rest of her class had her blood boiling already.
O Lord, wont you please answer my prayers.

2005-09-13T00:36:00.000+08:00

Back to muggin for exams.. today woke up around 9 plus.. went to library to study whole day. Lots of stuff to memorise. Proberly thats the only place i can concentrate on to study, but towards the end, loss my attention span.. begun to wear out. Duno why.. realli lost touch with my studies. Clear off my exams.. two weeks more... n poof! My much awaited one month holiday lies ahead.
Just now came back home.. picked up my guitar. Suddenly gt a feeling i can play "heart of worship". Truely, real enough, the rhythem came to me all of a sudden. Glad i can finally play the full song. Still findin the free worship.. if there is.
I jus couldnt help thinking of it, beats me too. It always happens.. felt the temptation to. But i'll leave everything to God. There's a season for everything. I believe everything's planned out for me. Just that.. perhaps at times i'm jus too impatient.
Oh yea.. God bless me for tml ITAB test. Sending creeps down my spine whnever i think abt it. Yet so easy yet so hard.

I'm coming back to the heart of worship.

Baptism

2005-09-12T00:46:00.000+08:00

Collossians 2:12- "Buried with Him in baptism, in which you also raised with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead."
11 September 2005, today i was water baptised by Pastor Aries. I will therefore be the light of the world and salt of the world. Let me be the light that shine forth.
Today service was great. The heart of worship. Towards the end of service, could feel the atmosphere really changing. Changing for the better. Could feel his presence so tangible once again. Cool. Never have i sang "heart of worship" in such a strong presence, practically turned it into a newly annointed song for me.
"So here i'm to worship, here i'm to bow down. Here i'm to say that you'r my God. You'r all together lovely, altogether worthy, altogether wonderful to me. I never know how much it cost, to see my sins upon the cross." Truely, thank you lord, for dying for me.

The strength of my heart

2005-09-09T00:32:00.000+08:00

"This is your song, not mine. It is your song, that brings healing to this land." Being soaked in the presence of worship is so peaceful. I'm being placed in me the song of heaven's melody. Obstacles may hit me like gushing waves, hey wait up, its the fresh renewal of energy that comes during worship that spurs me up once again. I don really like to receive discouraging comments, but muggin over it wont help. Not abit. Dun even mention misunderstandings. Seriously i've gt enough of it. Don't bother feeding me with them anymore. I realli need to build up the foundations. If not, its gona fall like the hut made of straws. I realli pray for unity, if not, its really hard to flow togther with the same vision. Lord.. wont you annoint me with the motivation and encouragment. Let me step over my discouragements and move on. Anyway, wads over is over. Wake up a new day and i'll live to win the day. I wont be discouraged, i'm not doing for anyone but for the Most High.
Today finished studying for my econs.. the market structures are driving me nuts. Wonder how will i cope when i move on to macroeconomics. Heard its easiler though. Oh well. I know MOB is gona be the modules tts toughest to crack. Plenty and i mean plenty to memorise. Wad did i expect out of a 3hr paper. Cant wait for the holidays.

The Touch From Heaven- The annointing

2005-09-08T01:12:00.000+08:00

Well.. i'm back. Felt the urge to blog suddenly.. also.. the phrase "The Touch From Heaven" inspired me to start up the blog. This time round, details wont be that of tt in particular. Proberly mainly some major happenings.
Sch projects piling up... exams coming on.. ok not bad.. 3 exam modules.. but econs and MOB would effectively shut me off.. gona mug real hard soon.. get over and done with my MOB and next semester i'll start fundementals of marketing.. another heavy one. Just when will i get outa such modules? Losing my motivation to study.. but nvm.. success belongs to the persevering. Realli gota do well this time round. Keep the faith.
I need the annointing in my follow-up in campus ministry.. I wont let anyone drift away. Gota work on it after my exams. Wont let my leader down. gona see a revival in school of business. I look forward to hear at the end of my race from Him, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Just like in John 15, God asked Peter "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?" He replied "yes Lord" And He said to him "Feed My lambs."
Then He said to him again, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me? Peter replied again "Yes Lord I love you." And He said to him "Tend My sheep"
Peter was grieved when He asked him for the third time, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me? And he said to Him, "Lord You know all things; You know that I love You. Jesus then said to him, "Feed My sheep."
I remember when arthur once shared with me abt this, i was deeply captivated by this. Even though i may be very spiritually mature, but i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I'm up to the leadership given to me and i will make a difference. Dealing with people has never been easy, yea.. but i see this as an opportunity to step out of my comfort zone to do something for the God i love. I will make sacrifices and stop past habits because i love Him. I could see God saying to me, "Phileo, if you love Me, Feed my lambs." Yes i will.
Alright.. gona do my EC project.. 40% weightage! Gona do a presentation that will blow 'em off.